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Theatre and film

Eagerly awaited by one reader (thanks Jane!) here are my humble views of this weekend's stage and screen entertainment.
First Elling.
Based on a Norwegian novel the play revolves around two psychiatric inmates (Elling and Kjell Bjarne) who are released into the community. Put into a flat and assigned a social worker they have to prove they can live in the real world or face returning to the institution for the rest of their lives.
Elling is the fastidious, agoraphobic mummy's boy and Kjell has never lost his pubescent girl-obsession and doesn't like wearing clothes.
It is witty, amusing and down right laugh out loud funny. The clever script ably-assisted by the acting talents of the John Simm (Elling) and Adrian Bower (Kjell).
The former was a revelation proving he has the credentials to be a comic as well as a straight actor. His timing was impeccable and his ability to create humour from a mere look or tilt of the head reminded me of the likes of Eric Morecombe.
It's only on for another week but if you are in London and can get a ticket, I'd highly recommend it.

Michael Clayton
It is the story of a top lawyer (Tom Wilkinson) who goes spectacularly off the rails in the middle of a long litigation case against a huge chemical company. Clayton, played by Clooney, is the law firms janitor, the guy who fixes difficult and tricky situations and he's sent in to sort the mess out before the whole case collapses uncovering all sorts of skulduggery along the way and putting his life at risk.
What is there to say? An excellent cast, brilliantly acted, nicely shot. Mildly intriguing plot, few twists and turns along the way. Felt a little too long. George Clooney was gorgeous.

National Movie (marketing) Awards

I'm always a bit sceptical about awards and how truly representative they are of great talent, skill and achievement. The inaugural National Movie Awards last night did little to allay my scepticism.
There is the fact that the winners are chosen from the top grossing films at the British box office, thereby intrinsically linking financial gain with achievement.
For example, the third Pirates of the Caribbean was nominated for best family film when it was shambolic, indulgent milking of one character while a bunch of special-effects nerds recreated their favourite wet-dreams.
I digress slightly.
Having already shrouded the awards in cold, hard commercialism the organisers then set about taking every opportunity possible for some blatant product plugging. Everything from the 'kind' jewellers Asprey who designed and made the statues to the next haul of movies which will all be scrabbling for box office success and, presumably, earning themselves a place on next years NMA shortlist. I'm surprised the celebrity guests weren't more labelled-up or given a premier drinks brand to hold just in case the camera caught them in a panning shot.
Even the 'generous' publications that acted as a conduit for the votes were heftily plugged.
The result was an actress such as Emma Watson beating the talent of Dame Judi Dench in what proved to be merely a popularity contest among the readers of Heat made into a bloated marketing vehicle which even the celebrity audience seemed embarrassed to be sitting through.
The fact that it is called 'movie' awards just adds insult to injury. We call them films in this country, something Dame Helen Mirren pointed out while on stage in what turned out to be the only entertaining moment of the whole debacle.

Vox Hunt: What The Weekend Holds

Show us what the weekend has in store for you.

Saturday night at the theatre with John Simm:

Elling at Trafalgar Studio

Sunday afternoon at the cinema with George Clooney:

Michaelclayton

Supermarket shittyness

Going to Sainsbury's on a Saturday morning is never what I'd describe as pleasant, more mundane, sometimes frustrating. But it seems this morning fate decided this was not enough of an experience.
First there was the mature lady in front of me at the check out who pointed to the brand of mouthwash I was buying and said:
"That's expensive isn't it? You can get it for a pound in poundland, it's still in date and everything, but it just costs a pound."
Not content with this observation and probably in her eyes, advice, she added:
"It's rubbish anyway, it doesn't clean your teeth."
So feeling somewhat perturbed I was naturally ecstatic when the young man at the check out decided to put the boot in. He caught a glimpse of the 8-year-old photo on my NUJ card,  which I keep in my purse, as I was paying and said:
"Is that a really old photo?"
I'm now sitting on my sofa slowing feeding my old face with a large bar of over-priced, fair-trade, plain chocolate.

Where can I get seagull?

Mosh told me about this last night, I just hope he got to go back and finish his crisps.

Seagull thief in aberdeen

QotD: Culinary Celebrity

Who's the coolest culinary celebrity?

I love cooking programmes. UK TV food was the first channel I tried out when I got Sky

Delia is too stiff - although a genius
Nigella is just too much
Rick is a bit pompous
The Two Fat Ladies were wonderfully down to earth but used things like lard and stuff that I'd never use
Hugh Fearnly-whittingthingy is nicely rustic but a little bit too country-set
So that leaves Jamie. I'm an unashamed fan. His enthusiasm is infectious. Love his roll up your sleeves and get your hands dirty style of cooking. The recipes are mostly the sort of thing that I imagine I could actually cook and his presentation is nice without being too fancy and pretentious. Other than the Two Fat ladies he's the only one of the lot that I'd actually like to go and eat with, preferably a barbie.

Jeremy Kyle: "human bear-baiting?"

After watching an episode of the Jeremy Kyle Show* a judge had this to say. He'd probably spit his port out if he saw  Big Brother.

*For those who live beyond these shores, the Jeremy Kyle Show is probably the UK equivalent to the Jerry Springer Show but without the moral diatribe at the end.

Sunday cinema

Shoot-em-up

Corny and contrived but oh so cool. Loved every minute of it.
Disengage brain and enjoy.

QotD: Autumn Films

Which new movies are you looking forward to seeing this fall?

These three the most:

 

Shoot 'em up

 

Elizabeth: The Golden Age

 

His Dark Materials: The Golden Compass

I'm looking forward to January

And no I haven't gone mad.

Ewan_chewie

A bit of planning has paid off, you see. Back in May, I bought membership to the Donmar Warehouse knowing this would entitle me to apply for tickets before they go on general sale.
The Donmar is a tiny theatre, just 250 seats and a maximum of four rows, but it tend to attract some pretty high calibre actors and therefore sells out very quickly.
So when they announced their winter season would include Othello staring Ewan McGregor, Chiwetel Ejiofor and Kelly Reilly (who played Bingley's snobby sister in Pride and Prejudice) I knew the only way to get my hands on tickets was to apply in advance.
Last week I visited the Donmar to buy some theatre gift tokens and got chatting to the man in the box office. He told me they'd had to put a freeze on applications for membership because tickets were in danger of selling out before they went on general sale. (Lucky I bought mine back in June)
He also showed me the pile of applications for tickets

Kelly Reilly

waiting to be processed.
So I crossed my fingers and toes and hoped that choosing Monday evening performances would give me a better chance.
And then this evening, on arriving home, there they are. Four beautiful tickets for Othello in January. Centre of the third row in the stalls.
I have the biggest grin on my face at the moment.
Like I said, I'm looking forward to January.

Starbucks - helping the community

Do you think this is what the bright spark at Starbucks had in mind when they suggested that to make the global coffee chain appear more locally-minded they put community notice boards up?

Starbuck's community notice board

Sunday cinema

3.10 to Yuma could do for Westerns* what the first Pirates of the Caribbean did for pirate movies.
It stars the wonderful Christian Bale and Russell Crowe, an actor I've never really 'got', and tells the story of a rancher (Bale) on the brink of bankruptcy who volunteers to escort the newly-captured notorious criminal (Crowe) to catch the Yuma prison train in return for a sum that will save his farm.

3.10 to Yuma

While it has all the ramshackle towns, saloons, sheriff's and shoot out's beloved of Westerns there is a grubby rawness, psychological subtlety and enough plot twists to create a tense thriller. The action sequences are simple and often brutal in their violence but it is the central characters, their struggles with themselves and their relationship with each other which take centre stage.
There are some great performances and while I'm still not totally convinced by Crowe there was complexity to his character which he brought out superbly in his performance.
I haven't seen much press about this film but it deserves to do well. A great piece of cinema.

(*Some might argue that last year's The Proposition put cowboy flicks back on the agenda but as it's set in Australia, I'm not sure it can technically be classified as a Western.)

Thames festival: 'entertainment'

In the technological and supposedly sophisticated age we live in, it isn't enough to sing, dance or tell a joke in the name of entertainment. Now people think up stuff like this:

And once up there they play and do acrobatics...

The human wind chime

I mean what thought processes did they go through to arrive at this?
'I know lets strap ourselves to a fancy metal frame and dangle the whole thing off a bloody great crane, throw in a trio of acrobats dangling off trapese swings and hey presto, entertainment for the 21st Century'.
It's not like you can fold the crane away and cart it around in the back of a van, which presumably limits the number of venues it can be 'performed' at.
Yes it's quite spectacular for a couple of minutes but soon neck-ache sets in. I bet the neighbouring drum and bell group are reeling at not having thought of it first. 

Nobody puts Kate into a corner

Now I knew my friend Kate could dance, but I didn't know she could dance.
Here she is taking to the floor at her 40th bash last night...

Kate dancing

Vox Hunt: Music - Hurry Up Already!

Show us an artist who you wish would hurry up and put out a new album.

The fabulous and scary Skin

And here are a couple of tracks from her last album which only came out last year but it seems like such a long time ago. Her website says she is working on new songs...

Blooming gel

The hairstyles are about as wooden as Orlando Bloom's acting. I actually laughed.

Orlando bloom uno

Films: the good and the bad

There are so many films out and coming out at the moment that I'm struggling to keep on top of seeing them (damn having to work for living).
So first the bad.

Lady Chatterley

Lady Chatterley. Obviously obsessed with the book as a teenager and oh how it all seems so innocent now in an age when ladies in the limelight think nothing of flashing a bit of vag on a night out.
The film is based on a later version of the book rather than the one that I read and what can I say about it. There was no chemistry between the two central characters which is quite a major flaw in a story about repressed feelings, passion and love.
Then there was the film itself. It was flabby, with over indulgent lingering shots of flowers and the rain and would have benefited from some severe pruning in the editing suite. The only interesting thing I could say about it is that on IMDb one of the plot keywords is 'genitalia'.

Fairing better in the entertainment stakes was Two Days in Paris with Adam Goldberg and Julie Delpy. It was

Two Days in Paris

refreshing to see a romantic comedy - a genre that normally fails to live up to either moniker - that actually had a bit of intelligent humour about it.
It plays on the cultural stereotypes of American's abroad and the French and could quite easily have been awful but had an essence of realism in it that made it work superbly.
I recommend watching with a large glass of red or a bottled beer.

Music from the archive

More updating my iTunes library and came across a CD I haven't listened to in years. It is Bjork's Debut. She made it before she went all weird, walking around in fancy dress all the time, wearing dead swans and the like.
I like it because it has quite an innocent and jolly sound to it. And she has an amazingly pure voice. These are my two favourite tracks.

10 Violently Happy

Björk

03 Venus As A Boy

Björk

New car

Isn't it time you bought a new car AKA Vasquez?

Work wit

A bloated, dead mouse was found in the kitchen at work today. Poison had been put down because there's a bit of a problem with them in the building.
I got chatting to our facilities manager who told me that the pest control company we use has UB40's Rat in Mi Kitchen as its telephone hold music. Genius.
For those unfamiliar with the song by the 80's Brummie band here's a live version complete with original extended intro.

UB40 - Rat in mi Kitchen (Original)

QotD: The Fall TV Season

What shows are you looking forward to in the new fall TV season?

SEXY SPIES!

Rupert Penry-Jones

(Spooks)

Run Fat Boy Run

Change of cinematic direction this week. Well sort of. For the first time ever I went to the cinema on a Saturday evening, with Mosh.

Simon Pegg with strap on paunch

It wasn't my choice of film but Mosh is a Simon Pegg fan and I thought that if we went on a Saturday night it would be a good excuse to watch the film accompanied by a large glass of wine, which I felt was needed to fully appreciate it.
It was cheesy and predictable but had some really funny moments, helped by the the predominantly British cast.
Never underestimate the comic value of Dylan Moran's arse.
I do recommend being under the influence though.

Dr Harry Potter?

I don't want to cast doubts on these rumours but there is a pretty strong chance that Daniel Radcliffe will be busy filming the final Harry Potter in 2009 (it is scheduled for release in 2010) and therefore unavailable to take over the role of Dr Who from David Tennant.

Giving Preston "a boost"

Just seen this story. I'm sure it will have the tourists and fans flocking...

Escalator incident

I saw a man fall down the escalator at Kings Cross tube today. Well technically I didn't. I was on the down-escalator and across at the up-escalator, I saw a handful of pistachio nuts go flying up in the air and heard a falling-over noise.
Which sounds funny now that I'm writing it but at the time it wasn't.
As I got to the bottom I went to see what had happened and the escalator was empty apart from the pistachios owner who was rolling over and over slowly, like laundry in a washing machine, powerless to stop the momentum as the escalator continued moving upwards. It was like a sick cartoon.
It wasn't until afterwards, I realised that I had just been standing and watching, a motionless rubber-necker.
A woman shouted for someone to go and help him and a man punched the stop button but the escalator didn't stop. Found out later that they slow down to a stop gradually.
Finally conscious of my gormless-gawping I went to punch the stop button again to make sure it got the message and to try and make up for the fact that I had just stood there.
The rescuer ran to the tumbling pistachio man to help him he was then joined by a member of the underground staff and policemen.
Pistachio man seemed to be OK or at least he was able to walk up the now still escalator with assistance.
I feel guilty that I didn't leap to his assistance immediately, and not entirely reconciling my guilt by remembering my poorly, strapped-up ankle would have limited what I could do.
It was a terrible thing to see but more terrible for pistachio man. He was just getting on with his journey, enjoying his pistachios and then his pistachios were spread all over the escalator.

Law of sod

Heading up to Newcastle today for a lunch time function we are hosting. Set alarm for 6.30 rather than 7.30 because the tube strike is causing chaos and I can't miss my train.
Alarm goes off. Drag myself out of bed and into the kitchen to make a cuppa, put the radio on and the first thing I hear is "Tube strike has been called off".

Holiday post

Posts about holiday's are starting to remind me a little of postcards in the "Ha Ha, I'm here and you aren't" kind of way but sadly not enough to eliminate my fascination with where people choose to go and what it says about them.

So read into it what you will but today I booked a yoga holiday in Dahab just up the coast from Sharm el Sheik on the Red Sea. It will be a first for lots of reasons: first time in Egypt, first time in a hotel on a beach, first time on a yoga holiday (my tutor is called Greg) but, most of all, my first time away on my own.

There is so much to look forward to and be a bit nervous about but if I don't end the week able to do a free-standing head-stand, like Greg is doing in his picture on the website, I want my money back.

Eight weeks and counting. And yes, subconsciously I'm saying "Ha Ha I'm going away and you aren't".