Rev Stan's other stuff

Christmas Eve and my 2007 Oscars

Well in my eyes it is because tomorrow I'm hot-footing it to Heathrow and thence onto Havana (via Madrid). Goodbye freezing fog, feeling cold and layers under lambs wool jumpers, hello Caribbean sunshine, shorts and sandals. And, as I'm not back until the January blues have firmly set in, 2007 I thought I take the time to do Rev Stan's life 2007: the Oscars.

Best gig:
Winner: Muse at Wembley for being amazing (once again) from start to finish
Commended: Gogol Bordello in Camden for introducing me to jumping up and down with the crowd and that moment when I turned and looked at Mosh and we were both jumping in time and grinning like idiots.

Best film at the cinema:
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix 3D at the IMAX for making me want to reach out and touch the characters even though I knew it wasn't real
Commended: Ooh there are too many too choose from, it's been a good year for cinema but, if pushed, it would probably have to be The Counterfeiters and Control for sticking most in my mind.

Best play:
First year of going to the theatre again and I've seen around a dozen plays all of which were thoroughly enjoyable apart from that one with Orlando Bloom in it which I've forgotten the name of so it's a tough choice but...
Winner: Equus because it was so good I had to see it twice. Now I just need to win the lottery so I can go and see it on Broadway next year.
Commended: Elling because it was a genius comic script and comedy acting.

Best book:
Winner: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, couldn't say anything else really as it was so highly anticipated and lived up to expectations. Don't think I ever did get around to posting about it.
Commended:
The Kite Runner for being the most moving book I've read in a long while and I just hope the film does it justice.

Best new musical discovery:
Winner: Beirut for being refreshingly different

Best album (bought this year rather than released as I'm often behind the times):
Winner: Gulag Orkstar, Beirut because I can't stop playing it
Commended: I want to say Because of the Times by Kings of Leon but Bun Buns disqualified it because I haven't technically bought it just borrowed it from Nadia so I'll say Permanent: Joy Division, Joy Division

Best new restaurant:
Winner: Shanghai Blues on High Holborn for being the most imaginative and different Chinese I've ever eaten
Commended: 32 Great Queen Street on, well the clue is in the name because even though I just had a quick main course as a pre-Lear it was enough to make me want to go back for the full works.

Best holiday:
Well I haven't been to Cuba yet
Winner: Yoga in Egypt for being the most relaxing holiday I've ever had and completing my conversion to yoga.

Best purchase:
Winner: My new mega-memory iPod as it's got all my music on it now and the battery lasts ages even if they did bring out a new all singing all dancing one about two month later...

Best telly:
Winner: Grey's Anatomy for the gorgeous Dr McDreamy, I'm a tart what can I say
Commended: It's a guilty pleasure but I just can't get enough of the Next Top Model series, don't care which country just bring on the bitchin' and photo shoots

Most embarrassing moment of the year:
Probably curbing my peddle and falling arse over tit in front of a (stationary) flash car on my way home from work. Ouch!

Proudest moment of the year:
Got to be the free-standing head stand in Egypt. Having spent nearly every day since trying to re-create it and realising how bloody difficult it actually is, I'm still absolutely made up that I did it.

Ooh I could go on with more best bits but even I'm getting bored now.
Not sure whether I'll be voxing from Cuba so in the meantime:
Happy Chrimbletide and a Merry New Year

Return of the King or Gandalf's magic staff (sorry)

When I booked the tickets for the RSC's King Lear back in summer it seemed like an age to wait but in the blink of an eye the months have passed. Arriving excited with anticipation at the New London Theatre there were posters warning us that the play contained loud gun-shots and brief nudity. J and I both joked that as long as it wasn't Ian McKellan who was getting his kit off, that would be fine.

www.mckellan.com

McKellan plays the aged King who decides to divide his kingdom among his three daughters and with the usual doses of jealousy, plotting and misunderstandings sprinkled with a bit madness and violence it all ends tragically.
I'm fond of good tragedy and in particular Shakespeare's but this storyline didn't really move me and left me feeling that most of the characters got what they deserved. Perhaps it was the way it was played and that is no way a criticism of the acting which was generally superb.
It sounds like I didn't enjoy it but I really did and almost entirely because of McKellan who's performance was mesmerising. He is a true King of Shakespearean acting, put him and Patrick Stewart on the stage together and the rest of the cast might as well stay in their dressing rooms.
Other notable performances came from Sylvester McCoy who played The Fool and was unceremoniously and rather shockingly hung just before the interval. (His 'body' was retrieved by stage hands during the interval which some in the audience felt deserved an applause.)
Frances Barber who I've seen playing Mrs Coulter in the Dark Materials at the National was an excellently selfish and manipulative Goneril, the eldest daughter.
The jury is still out on Romola Garai (seen recently in the film Atonement) who played the youngest daughter Cordelia and the chief victim of the tragedy. Many actors have said baddies are more fun to play and maybe it's because she's a goody that she didn't get the chance to shine, I don't know, I'd have to see another actress play the part to really judge.
This probably only makes sense to me but while the story didn't move me in the same way that say Hamlet or Othello does the performance itself was utterly engaging.
And oh yes I nearly forgot, the nudity. Well it wasn't what I'd describe as brief and despite the warning it was far more shocking than Equus . What I will say is that Gandalf's is bigger than Harry Potter's.

 

Sunday cinema

Two films I've seen in recent weeks I feel are worth a mention are The Golden Compass and The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford.
The former is based on the first book in Philip Pullman's Dark Material's Trilogy, the Northern Lights, which I read at a friends suggestion as the antidote male hero Harry Potter.

The Golden Compass

Now I really enjoyed the books and was lucky enough to see the stage version at the National Theatre which could have been a disaster but was actually superbly done.
So I was looking forward to the film, if with a little trepidation at what Hollywood might do with it. I'd read all the stories of directors dropping out and the decision to down play the religious theme but was encouraged by the casting.
And I wasn't disappointed. I can't imagine how it is to follow if you haven't read the books and I won't attempt to explain here but the job of imagining Pullman's fantasy world and ideas on film is skillfully done.
The lead characters live up to expectation with the exception of Iorek Byrnison, the polar bear which is voiced by Ian McKellan (more of him, quite literally in another post).
The CGI bear is as good as anything else I've seen on film recently but McKellan's voice just doesn't fit. It's like Gandalf has become a bear. Perhaps his voice is just a bit too old for the character.
My only other criticism is the decision to erase the religious element, a decision I'm sure is born out of having US financing rather than British or European.
In the books I always felt that the role of religion within society was fairly central but it begs a question that should the remaining two films go ahead, how on earth are they going to explain Lyra, the heroine's, significance without any religious reference?
If you've read the books you will no doubt know exactly what I mean but I won't explain as it will spoil it for those who haven't.

The very long titled film

A complete cinematic contrast, The Assassination of Jesse James, is a detailed character piece bereft of any silver screen whistles and bells that had me completely gripped. If you are expecting an action movie of Western persuasion you'll be sorely disappointed.
Framed by a relatively short period of history it is a character piece about the build up to, murder and its consequences of the infamous Jesse James, played by Brad Pitt.
It is a long film and the first half an hour seems a little slow but the pace picks up as the tension between the two central characters builds - Ford the murderer is played by Casey Affleck.
It is refreshing to watch a film which places the actors firmly in the spotlight to tell the story. For all the gossip and glamour that surrounds Pitt, he is at the core a skilled actor and together with Affleck what the two of them manage to pull off is breathtaking. Quite simply they say more without words than most actors could pull off with heavy dose of verbal diarrhea.
If Affleck doesn't have an illustrious career after this then there is no justice.

Festive fun

This has got to have even the most bah-humbug person smiling. My tip is to use a picture of the most miserable person you know. Hours of fun.

Gogol again

Had tickets to see Gogol Bordello on Saturday, this time at the much bigger Hammersmith Apollo. After everything that has happened in the last 10 days I really needed to have a few drinks and jump around stupidly to some loud music. So Gogol Bordello was perfect tonic.
It was a great gig but the bigger venue didn't work as well. The crowd were not as animated as when we saw them in Camden and there was no crowd surfing this time.
Still I got into the spirit of the music and enjoyed myself. Took my camera which Mosh and I shared but it was really difficult getting clear pictures. I actually quite like some of the slightly blurry ones though as they reflect the atmosphere...

Gogol Bordello at the Hammersmith Apollo

Eugene Hutz in a silly wig

This one is my favourite

And on a lighter note

I've nicked this from Aput

The More Mature Time Expending Survey

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?

Mortgage - it's interest only which is galling.

2. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?

Probably Le Manoir aux Quat Saison three and a half years ago

3. Last time you puked from drinking?
If it wasn't when I was a student then I've 'forgotten'

4. When is the last time you got drunk and danced on a bar?
I'm too short to get on the bar.

5. Name of your first grade teacher?

Mrs Happy. No seriously.

6. What do you really want to be doing right now?

Curry + several glasses of red wine = sleep

7. What did you want to be when you were growing up?

When I was seven I wanted to be a lion-tamer. When I was a teenager I wanted to be an architect.

8. How many colleges did you attend?

Three places I went to school had college in their title.

9. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?

Mosh knows.

10. Gas prices?

Dunno, I pay by monthly direct debit.

11. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you?

It would be split between a nice house in Clapham Old town which is half a mile up the road and Wellington, New Zealand. Both with Mosh.

12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?

"How will I cope going back to work?"

13. Last thought before going to sleep last night?

"How will I cope going back to work"

14. Favorite style of underwear?

There are too many extraneous variables for a woman to answer this question

15. Favorite style of underwear for the opposite sex?

Dunno what they are called but I call them the tight-boxer-calvin-kline style ones 

16. What errand/chore do you despise?

I hate putting clean laundry away or clean washing up away

17. If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer?

Yes. I'd help out on the Dog Trust's publications

18. Get up early or sleep in?

Depends on whether I'm alone or not.

19. Who is your favorite cartoon character?

Genuinely don't have one

20. Favorite NON-sexual thing to do at night with a girl/guy?

Nice food, wine and conversation

21. Have you found real love yet?

After 12 and a half years I'd say yes.

22. When did you first start feeling old?

When I realised that if I'd had a baby at 18 they would be Daniel Radcliffe's age now.

23. Favorite 80's movie?

Back to the Future. Still love the bit where Marty McFly falls from the tree and get knocked unconscious

24. Your favorite lunch meat?

I generally have fish for lunch either tuna or mackerel

25. What do you get every time you go into Sam's Club? Or Walmart?

What took this quiz so long to expose its cultural bias?

26. Beach or lake?

Depends on how hot it is.

27. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?

I can understand why it works for some people

28. How many people do you stalk on Facebook?

Don't really use Facebooks so don't know.

29. Favorite guilty pleasure?

Watching certain films on a weekly basis. The particular film depends on my mood and the time of year.

30. Favorite movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out about?

I'm not ashamed of any film I enjoy. I'm currently re-watching all the Harry Potters.

31. What's your drink?

Good wine. Red, rose or white.

32. Cowboys or Indians?

Cowboys, it's the hats and the leather trousers.

33. Cops or Robbers?

It depends on who is playing them.

34. Who from high school would you like to run into?

Beatrice de Laya who was a genuinely nice person or Paul Kyte who I fancied.

35. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?

I don't have a car.

36. Norm or Cliff?

Er... what?

37. The Cosby Show or the Simpsons?

The Simpsons.

38. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?

Wasn't really a relationship mistake but sending a valentine card to Mark Thompson when I was at University was really stoopid.

39. Do you like the person who sits directly across from you at work?

It's a spare desk. I imagine that Johnny Depp, Jake Gyllenhall, Gael Garcia Bernal or... sits there and of course I like them, duh. 

40. If you could get away with it, who would you kill?

I can't answer that.

41. What famous person(s) would you like to have dinner with?

A dinner party with: Stephen Fry, Ben Whishaw, Ross Noble, Daniel Radcliffe, PJ Harvey, Helen Mirren and Samantha Morton (I'd put Ben and Polly next to each other because I think he fancies her and I'd get Daniel drunk and ask him about all the amazing actors he's worked with)

42. What famous person would you like to sleep with?

None because it would destroy the fantasy.

43. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?

Nope.

44. Last book you read for real?

A Spot of Bother by Mark Haddon

45. Do you have a teddy bear?

No, I have Bun Buns.

46. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth?

In the bathroom of a wooden raft house on the river Kwai in Thailand

47. Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go?

It's tacky but I'd love to do one of those bus tours where they take you round all the houses of the rich and famous.

49. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or a new relationship?

A new career.

50. Just how OLD are you?

Physically 36, mentally 26

Untitled

It is over. My Dad died last night. It was peaceful and as the doctors described, his breathing got slower and shallower until it stopped completely.
Earlier in the week I'd thought that I wouldn't want to see his final moments but I'm glad I was there. Mum had popped away from his bedside and in a way it was like he was sparing her the pain of witnessing it.
I was absorbed with a crossword in a copy of the 'Puzzler' that octogenarian Norman in the neighbouring bed had donated to me earlier in the day when I was aware of no breath sounds. The doctor that morning had warned us that there might be increasing pauses between breaths.
He did start breathing again but it was definitely weaker so I went and stood by his bed. I talked to him and stroked his hair and actually started to text my sister to warn her that it wouldn't be much longer, thinking probably another hour or two. But his breathing was becoming so shallow that I put the phone down half way through.
And then his chest stopped moving and his face changed colour.
My mum arrived back at that moment with a nurse who was going to administer her eye drops. Once she realised what was happening she said her goodbyes. It was very touching to see. And very emotional.
There seemed to be some slight movement still in his chest and his mouth moved slightly so I asked the nurse if he was definitely 'gone' (and there was me trying not to use euphemisms). The nurse gently nodded and pointed to his face indicating that the colour change is what is known as the 'death mask'.
Everyone always seems to say it in these instances but the nursing staff have genuinely been fabulous and in particular during these final days, always making the time to answer our questions and see to any concerns we had about Dad's comfort, offering to get us hot drinks in the middle of the night and generally making sure we were looked after too.
We were taken out to the day room, offered tea (of course) while the nurses did whatever it is they do to make the body 'look better'. Mum wanted to go back in and sit with him for a while but despite already having seem him dead, I didn't want to see him again. Unfortunately I had to go and speak to Mum and it probably isn't what you should say, but he looked horrible. I won't go into details as it's not an image I like to recall.
Within two hours we were packed up and on our way home. He's bed will most likely have been filled by this morning.
I feel both very sad and relieved. It has been awful and surreal.

Cliche's

There are so many cliche's surrounding illness and death and they are hard to avoid without sounding callous or hard hearted.
So here is one: he is clinging on. As my brother Derren put it in a text to me this morning: "He never did know when to give up."
My sister came to the hospital at 6pm last night to relive me from my 26-hour stint (the time really does slip by quite quickly) and I said what I thought was likely to be my last goodbye which took all my resolve and was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do. It had been a pretty emotional day all round really with my aunt Karen coming in to say her goodbyes and Dad's minister doing the same.
His breathing had got slightly shallower and I really thought he would slip away in the night but apparently not.
I did say to my sister as we were having our own teary parting that he'd probably hang around long enough so I will have to return and say goodbye all over again.
So I may have to go back up to Leicester today to relieve my sister and that isn't something I relish. Everyone has bits they can cope with and bits they can't. Some people can't do hospitals and haven't been to visit for that reason. Some don't want to see him so poorly and want to preserve a memory of happier times.
Mine is that I don't particularly want to be there to see him take his last breath. I certainly don't want to see his body unmoving, with all signs of life gone.
The last 36 hours have made me obsessed with breathing. There were times last night when I realised I was listening out for Mosh's breath in the same way I had when sat at my Dad's bedside.
This morning after I'd got an update from my sister, I had a selfish little cry born out of feeling so physically and emotionally tired and generally not feeling able to cope rather than grief. Two cups of tea later and I'm over that little low and ready to go back if needs be.

Last leg of (this) journey

Room of doom again. It is hard to see what else they could say that would warrant this particular venue after this visit with the grand fromage, the consulant, the woman who diagnosed his leukemia and took it on masterminding his treatment for the last 2 and a bit years.
She was plain talking and honest, something you appreciate at this stage. This evening they would be withdrawing all the treatment that is helping keep him alive so nature can take it's course.
Gone are the tubes and monitors. Only the oxygen stays and some morphine as and when he needs it.
It is unlikely he'll see the weekend out.
The three of us, Mum, sister and me, held it together amazingly (if I might say so). We pretty much knew what the consultant was going to say and had agreed we wouldn't look at each other, so as not to 'set each other off'.
We were brought tea, the British answer to any emotional crisis and once left alone had a matter of fact discussion about what he'd want for his funeral. The consultant had talked of coroners, death certificates and post mortems which was quite sobering if a little perverse when he is still warm and breathing down the corridor.
So now it is the final watch. I'm on night duty and the day-room cameraderie established with the two sons of another 'critical' on the ward was shattered when their mother died just after midnight.
The nurse confirmed their suspicions quietly in front of me: "She's left us."
I admit that I welled up too mainly because I couldn't help thinking if that is how we'll be told. (Will prepare a sweep stake on which euphemism for death is chosen.)
I've been sleeping on the wipe-down sofa again and in 2 and a half hours the side room this mother spent her last days has been stripped down and is emitting a strong smell of pine bleach. Can't help thinking of pirahna's working on a carcus until there is no trace left.
It has also made me realise just how much death the nursing staff are faced with as part of their day to day job, particularly working on a ward like this.
Yesterday there were four 'criticals' including my Dad. Now he is one of two.
For now there are no visible signs of him releasing his grip. When the time comes I hope he decides to slip away quietly but he is a big man, with a big personality so I'm not sure that will be his way.